Let Go or be Dragged

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   "Let go or be dragged."

ZEN PROVERB

“The Zen teaching of non-attachment is very similar to the teaching of Taoism. The Tao Te Ching, an ancient Taoist classic, says, “when the sage walks, he leaves no footprints behind." What does this mean? It does not mean that when the Taoist sage goes for a walk one would never be able to find the imprints of his feet on the ground. The sage is human like us, and so he has footprints.

“What the statement means is that in his journey through life the sage leaves no traces of desire and attachment clinging to him as he lives from moment to moment. Life is following, always changing, and the sage never looks back to the moment which has sped by, nor does he look forward to the moment which lies ahead. Rather, he lives in the present, flowing along in harmony with the rhythm of life, appreciating each moment for what it is worth and allowing it to pass on quickly to be replaced by the next.” –THICH THIEN AN

Letting go of things both physically and mentally is not easy. When was the last time you had planned something that turned out exactly as you expected or when was the last time you met someone and your first impression of them was unchanged after you got to know them.

I had this wonderful idea of how sailing would be on the beautiful San Francisco Bay. We'd be drinking champagne, telling funny stories, and enjoying the view with friends. I had been thinking about this sail for a number of weeks and the more I thought about it the more I clung to the story I created. But, it ended up not being the story I had written but one much different. I got soaked early on by waves crashing into the side of the boat and the sea was rough enough where I had to use both hands to hang on at all times making it nearly impossible to hold a cup or take any pictures.

Yes, it sounds like I'm complaining but it made me think of how often I grasp onto the way I think things should be, so much so that the slightest deviation makes me either upset or disappointed. Case in point, the cancer. I was really blindsided by the whole thing. I was sure that I would grow old and in my 80's and be shuffling around some small garden marvelling as I always do when the weather gets warm and plants dormant all winter begin to grow and that every evening I would sit on the porch and have my gin from a blue bottle. I'm disappointed and a lot of the time very frustrated that it's not going to happen that way.

Clinging to notions is like Velcro. Once it starts to stick if left unimpeded will come together and require huge effort to separate. The lesson then is that at the moment you feel you are beginning to create your story of how things should be is the easiest and sometimes the only opportunity to let go.

So now I get to wake up each day and say to myself I feel good and I get the whole day to enjoy. I'll do my best to not cling to notions or stories of how things should be and to let things unfold as they will and take notice of each moment.

The Dali Lama said the space between how we think things should be and how they really are is where suffering lives.